Overcoming Depression and Anxiety through Positive Self-Training

How I am training myself to be positive

Andreea Cristea

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Photo by Callum Shaw on Unsplash

Last year, after starting to see a therapist, I found out I was slightly depressed and anxious. That didn't come as a surprise because I knew something was going on, but I was way too wrapped up in my own angry bubble to take action.

I have spent more than two years being tired 24/7 and although I slept most of the time, the morning after always came as a punishment that couldn’t get me out of bed.

This, obviously, disturbed my daily routine.

It took me a while to realise I was being an asshole to everyone around me and it felt like no one could understand, mainly because I didn't. So I blamed my parents and everyone else, but me.

Anxiety and depression are a lot like drowning, but there is no water and you are not really drowning, it is more of a floating sensation, but not the good kind. — someone told me this and it seemed weird, but then it hit me.
It’s the emptiness that surrounds us in which we drown, lack of motivation and purpose.

No matter how hard I was trying to get to the surface, there was this huge weight that always pulled me back. I thought it was my past, that one thing I will never be able to escape, but in reality, it was the vicious habit I had developed that entire time: being negative. all.the.time.
So the blame was all mine.

What changed?

I have realised that I am the only one who’s in charge of my resources and I get to decide how I spend my energy, thoughts and time. Eventually, I can learn to let go of things that are hurting me, no matter what or who they are.

Pushing myself towards having more activities during the day, regardless of how tired and lazy I feel, will lead to a more relaxing sleep during the night, especially if I exercise and, as it turns out, I am not very committed to exercising.

Recalibrating the way I react to things that would normally make me unhappy or angry and thinking twice before doing anything can save me a lot of nervous breakdowns and cries in my own bathroom.

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Andreea Cristea

Spinning words and crafting stories 🫶🏻. I write about creative processes, mental health, and books.