Welcome to Fear City. Population: 7,6 bn

If fear was a place, I would make it my home.

Recently, I have finally managed to accept that I am fear-driven. This is how I’m built. I fear that people will be disappointed with me, so I give anything to shift it and I end up doing the exact opposite; I fear I will miss out on things, so I tend to add too much on my plate and rarely enjoy any of it. I fear I am not getting enough sleep, so I oversleep. Etc..

You got it.

Fears are seen as such bad consuming things, a symptom that hides a deeper affection in relation to how we perceive ourselves, but I think it has to do with our own biases and sequence of actions, rather than labelling it as being symptomatic.

My therapist used to tell me how I should learn to move past my fear and try to bet on my courage, but little did she know about how my courage has always gotten me in trouble.
Unlike fear, it doesn’t have any tactics or diplomacy, so it goes nuclear and never wins any battle.

Moreover, my courage is stupid, reckless and has the maturity of a 10 yo, whilst fear knows when to act, what to say and it can even seduce the audience by appearing shy and innocent. Courage — Fear; 0–1.

I look around me and I see more and more people afraid of things and almost every time is the same over and over again: not being enough.

Not brave enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not big enough, not talented enough, not healthy enough, etc..

But when does enough reach its security level? When is enough — enough?

Perhaps it’s when you land your dream job, although that usually comes with a full plate of anxiety, panic attacks and the unequivocally fear that you are not enough for it and sooner or later your employer will see it too and out you go.

Or having to perform in front of an audience.

When you find the love of your life and start a family? That can also go down in flames after a long ride to Paranoia City.

Perhaps enough will never be enough because we are taught to be overachievers, always raising the bar higher to a point where it gets unachievable.
Maybe if we took slower, more aware steps and acknowledged the process as a continuous work in progress, our minds would be able to have their well deserved holiday from this consuming thought.

Just maybe…




"Thank you for coming to my unrequested Ted Talk."

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

What is my definition of Love?

Losing What was Never Really Mine

A scrapbook of old photographs

4 Lessons on Success & Leadership by an International Sports Athlete — Shan Masood

My Best 7 Self-Improvement Tips

Better Get Down to It!

How Do You Define Yourself?

Lessons During a Pandemic

You Can’t Win Staring Contest With Your Own Reflection

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Andreea Cristea

Andreea Cristea

"Thank you for coming to my unrequested Ted Talk."

More from Medium

What Is Purity Culture?

Many Solutions That Would Have Brought More Change To The World Are Buried Inside The Grave

Follow that Small Quiet Voice From Within

How Amateurism & Making Mistakes Can Energize, Inspire, and Free You